Published by Philip Okrend,
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Dear Readers,
Welcome to Stepping Into Transition, the monthly
newsletter designed to help you navigate
your way through the challenges of change into an
authentic and empowered life.
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| Identifying Your Gremlin | | | As you progress towards making the change you want in
your life, one of the challenges you may face is a
self-sabotaging inner voice that brings up all the reasons
why you shouldn't move forward. This inner voice also
known as "The Gremlin" is something each of us
possesses at one time or another. The Gremlin has a job
and a good intent on the surface which is to keep you
safe. But by trying to keep you safe, the Gremlin tries to
convince you that all risk or change is bad and
unacceptable. Thus the Gremlin can keep you from
achieving your full potential by holding you back. In attempting to preserve the status quo, the Gremlin
may give you an array of excuses for you not to go for
what you really want. Perhaps the Gremlin will spew you
with negative self talk such as your idea or plan is
"stupid", "dangerous", hopeless", or "ill-advised." Or the
Gremlin convinces you to adopt the following
beliefs: asking for what you want is selfish, guilt has
value, worry has value, to express uncensored joy is to
be silly or unprofessional. You are probably residing in
Gremlin territory when you start hearing yourself use the
words "should," "must" or "can't" on a regular basis.
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| Strategies To Tame Your Gremlin | | | Awareness is the first step in defeating the self
sabotaging voice of the Gremlin. The following steps will
help you become more aware of the Gremlin so you can
begin to diminish its influence on you. 1. Notice The Gremlin-Become aware of the negative self
talk in your head so
you can start to make choices. You can choose to
ignore it, you can change its negative message to a
positive one, you can personify your Gremlin by giving it
a name such as Whining Wendy, Hurtful Hal, Obstinate
Olly, etc. You can draw a picture of it, buy an ugly
stuffed animal, etc. and keep it in a place so you can
see it to remind yourself when the Gremlin is talking and
not you. This last strategy can help you achieve a
tangible separateness between yourself and the Gremlin. 2. Record what your Gremlin is saying so you can refute
it-When the voice of the Gremlin tries to convince you
why
you can't create change in your life, just let the voice
come out, let it vent for 5 minutes and record what it is
saying by writing it down or talking into a tape recorder.
Once you can actually read or hear what the Gremlin is
saying, you can come up with evidence to the contrary
to refute it. The act of recording will make it clearer to
you how untrue the Gremlin's message really is. 3. Get very clear about what you really want in your life-
What are your values and beliefs and are you actively
honoring them in your life? The more clarity you have
about your values, the less power the Gremlin will have
over you. When you are clear on what is important to
you, you are able to exercise greater choice and action
around the things you really want to do as opposed to
the "shoulds", "musts" and "oughts" that the Gremlin tries
to convince and manipulate you with.
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| This Month's Anecdote And Recommended Reading | | | A Native American elder once described his inner
struggles which is also illustrative of our struggles with
the Gremlin: "Inside of me there are two dogs.
One of the dogs is unhappy, insecure and full of doubt.
The other dog is joyful and confident. The unhappy dog
fights the joyful dog all the time." When asked which dog
wins, he reflected for a moment and replied. "The one I
feed the most." Recommended Reading Taming Your Gremlin by Richard Carson is short, easy to
read and filled with fun illustrations. If you enjoyed this
month's topic and want to learn more, this is an
"essential" read. Look out for August's issue of "Stepping Into
Transition" on "Creating Empowering Perspectives." Until
then. . . Phil
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